Does the fresh and innocent face in the delightful leopard print hat you see above look like a hardened criminal yob? Does the headgear she is sporting look like a devise to inflict terror and fear into the community? Does the fluffy head apparatus appear to be concealing someone who is yearning to steal, abuse or intimidate?
Well yes, according to the security guard at my local 99p store! As you all know there is nothing I usually like better than rummaging around the kitschy tat at said shop. But this is the conversation/loud argument/shout-off I had to undertake yesterday after refusing to remove the aforementioned leopard print headgear on entering the store:
Security: Could you please remove your hood in the store
Me: Why?
Security: because it's store policy
Me: Its headwear, not a hood for a start, but what is the reason behind me having to take it off?
Security: you have to in the shop
Me: but you cant tell me to do something without telling me why
Security:because we need to see your face
me: but you can see my face. And you are wearing a hat yourself!
Security:Yes but it's not a hood and you can see my face. Please take it off
me: Why do you need to see my face? You can't dictate if i wear a hat or not?
Security: you cant wear a hood.
me: You can't criminilize everyone for wearing hoods. And I saw a lady with a religious hood on in here earlier
Security: but thats allowed
me: so im disciminated against because im not religious?
Security: urm...
Me: Give me a valid reason, tell me why i can't wear it
Security: You can't ask me things like that, it's just the policy
me: I'll ask you whatever i like. Can i speak to the manager
Security: there isnt one
me: no manager at all? Well how about a supervisor then?
Supervisor: What's the problem?
Me: I want to know why I have to remove my headwear in the store?
Supervisor: You have to ask the security guy, he knows more than me (!!!)
Me: I'm not taking it off
Random delivery driver guy joining in: She's not even wearing a hood, it's a hat. She hardly looks like a criminal does she!!?? I love her style!
Security: Well, urm, carry on shopping then
Me: *&$$$!!###!!*))$$$!£***!!! (rant rant rant about civil liberties, perpetuating false fear etc etc as I walk off)
I know your job is probably insanely boring Mr Security guard but don't get all jobs-worth with me because you havn't got to use your pretend hand-cuffs yet. You picked the wrong bitch to mess with.Victory! Nobody will ever again dare to fight the almighty, liberties defending Fashion Turd!
But on a serious note I am absolutely livid and appalled by this ridiculous anti-hoodie mentality that seems to be dominating public thinking. Apparently it is to help identify those who in engage in ASB. Hmmm.
I hate the way that by insisting that everyone who enters a shop must remove headwear / hoodies these private sectors are branding us innocent shoppers a yob/potential criminal merely because we choose to wear gratuitously large items of headwear. It abuses the ideas of 'freedom of choice' and 'civil liberties' that our country apparently so proudly adheres to. Not only this, but the act of banning hoods is also instilling and perpetuating an irrational sense of fear in the public mind about everyone who chooses to wear hoods (a bit like all of those 'nasty, scary brown people who wear large backpacks you know?)
We are forced to wear school uniform through our childhoods and look like robots and are forced to dress 'professionally' to go to work and look like robots, and now this, yet another restriction on personal freedom. If we really want to ban clothing as a measure to crackdown on ASB, how about banning the suits, shirts and ties of the far more dangerous politicians, bankers and white collar criminals?
I hate yob culture as much as the next person, but surely the root of social disruption and anti social behaviour goes deeper than a hood or a baseball hat and this is a short term solution for a long term problem. You frickin illogical douche bag policy makers!
End if rant. Here are some pretty pictures of the outfit in question to make us all feel better and not be scared of people who wear 'face covering' garments!
Anyone else had any similar experiences with jobs-worth dick head security guards or other law enforcers? Anyone have to compromise their dress sense for unnecessary reasons?
Labels:
captain hat,
clothes,
costumes,
eyeballs,
ghost world,
halloween,
haunted doll,
homo,
spooky
