I'M DOING A FREE CLOTHES GIVEAWAY! Read on if you want some Fashion Turd sweat soaked garments!

Greetings Minions...So, I have just had a small epiphany, lightning struck and a light bulb went on! Look:

I've recently been in talks with the lovely Sav from A Witch's style and we have decided to do a clothes swap and subsequent mutual 'clothes swap outfit posts'! I'm not sure if my child bearing hips will fit into her tiny weeny Hobbit clothes but we shall see, keep your eyes peeled for that anyway, it's gonna be a visual car-crash of print, colour and pattern! 
But it has inspired me to give away some clothes that I no longer wear (they are still quality goods, no shite from The Fashion Turd, but i'm just running out of closet space!). I want them to go to a good home where they will be enjoyed and cherished and given a new lease of life. I'l be curious to see how other people interpret my stuff...yeah cheese on toast I know, but whatever.


So, if you want a mystery piece of clothing sent to you all the way from Turd Ville all you have to do is become a follower through Google Friend Connect or Blog Lovin (or both if you are particularly keen!) and then let me know through which you are following and your email address in a comment below. If you already follow then you already eligible of course! I will then be in touch through the medium of electronic mail to get your address. I have a limited amount of pieces so it will be on a first come, first serve basis...SO GO GO GO! ...NOW YOU SLOW COACH!


Does this sound like a good idea? Who thinks so? 


P.S Hello shiny new followers and here is also a link to another lovely write up i got from fellow blogger Vee at Vee's Randomness.
Laters, i'm off to soak in the bath until i get  wrinkly x


(ATTENTION!!...This offer is now closed due to an amazing early response and no more clothes to giveaway! i didn't think so many people would be interested..ooops. Thanks for your lovely comments.....BUT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STILL FOLLOW AND LEAVE YOUR EMAIL AS I WILL PUT YOU ON TOP OF THE LIST FOR THE NEXT GIVEAWAY! ....thanks, you are all like strawberry jam to my soul! ...The Turd X )

Outfit #20

Look i didn't end up 'butch'! / topiary hair / shiny legs / comfy cardi / stripey boobs

Yesterday whilst coming back from the fish and chip shop with our haddock, battered sausage, chips, and curry sauce my mate commented that the outfit I had on made me look 'more feminine' than I have in a while (she also pointed out that the grammar in my blog sucks, thanks Rhi!). 

It made me chuckle though because it reminded me of when I first came out and I was asked if i was going to now be 'all butch and wear Birkenstocks'. To be honest the concept of being either butch or femme is one that can stay in suburban Gay bars in the 1990's if you ask me, I think that most self respecting muff-divers don't restrict themselves to such archaic role stereotypes these days. I don't know if wearing flowers in my hair constitutes me being a femme, but one thing's for sure, you'll never catch me in Birkenstocks! Bloody hate them. Here is the outfit in question for your viewing pleasure you perverts...

  Jacket: Charity

 Shop

Skirt: Primani

Flowers: Primani

Vest: H&M

Leggings: H&M

Leg Warmers: H&M

Jewellery: Charity shops and from my Grandma

                                                                         

P.S Hello new readers..i have overtaken the 150 followers mark in just 6 months...pretty rad me thinks....thanks for everything and keep coming back please!

P.P.S I have opened up The Fashion Turd for sponsorship. Have a look at this page for details.

Sponsor The Fashion Turd!

Greetings oh loyal and excitable readers! 


I hope you are all radiant this fine Wednesday afternoon? 


What did you eat for breakfast? Anyone up to anything pant-peeingly interesting later?....

To begin I just wanted to say a mighty Thank You / Grazie / Diolch / Merci for all of your generous words and loyal follower-type-behaviour over the last few months. I started The Fashion Turd as a bit of an experimental joke to be honest but it seems that people might actually be enjoying my musings (correct me if I'm wrong!) and i shall endeavour to continue spreading The Turd Word for evermore. 

But to make the blog even bigger-er and better-er i am now opening up The Fashion Turd for sponsorship. Don't worry, I'm not interested in covering my page in nasty irrelevant Google adsense ads or turning myself into a puppet for someone else's multinational sweat shop chain! But if you run an interesting shop, blog or business that you feel other readers would enjoy, sponsorship will be a great way to gain exposure eh?

If you or anyone you know might be interested (your Mum, your Gran, your Uncle Graham) go have a read of my Sponsorship Page for more details or contact me via email at thefashionturd@gmail.com

Cheers all, i love your bones, come back soon for a BOOOOOOM new outfit post. Over and out.

Meet my muse...The Mini Turd!

This is my 10 year old wunderkinder brother Jude. The boy is a child genius and inspires me possibly more than any adult ever could. Any kid that lists sushi, politics, Renaissance Chamber Music and world history as some of his favourite things and draws portraits of Colonel Gadaffi and Phil Mitchell (during the crack phase) in his spare time, is pretty bloody amazing right? He is also a pretty s-s-snazzy dresser so we decided to style this shoot together and Jude was kind enough to also give his views on a few things too...enjoy!  

What are you doing when you are not in school?Playing on my D.S, watching Tracy Beaker, drawing.Favourite film?Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom for all of the GORE!The food that you enjoy eating most?Sushi especially prawn nigiri with pickled gingerYour best item of clothing?The jacket i wore in these photos because it makes me look like Michael Jackson.

         

             

           

Your best book?This is tricky because i read so much, but probably 'Billionaire Boy' by David Walliams and illustrated by Quentin Blake.Why do you like drawing and who will you draw next?Because it's so much fun and relaxing. Next i would like to draw some supernatural or mythalogical creatures.Favourite place in the world?At the moment i am fascinated by the French Southern and Antarctic Lands becuase they are so remote but my favourite place that i have visited so far is Crete because of the lovely swimming pools.Your favourite period in history?I love the 1950's because i love the Rocker subcultureWhat do you want to do when you grow up?

I want to study Politics, History and English for A level and then either become an actor or a milkman! 

Jude wears-  

Jacket: Stella McCartney (..oh yes)

 Tee: School uniform

Glasses: General store

Shoes: borrowed from me! 

The Fashion Turd wears-

Jumpsuit:Rokit

Glasses:General store

Don't you just want to put him into your pocket?!Who is your muse? Anyone else got any extremely brilliant siblings?

P.S This is Ruby from the blog 'Ruby Lotus'. She sent me a lovely email asking if she could interview me. She is only a whippersnapper and has just started blooging so please go and give her a friendly high five! She wears Doc Martens and cat ears.                                              

Wanna come hang out with me at my stall at Stour Space Designers Market, London on May 28th? Yes please!

Hola Turd Brothers and Turd Sisters. Just a wee quickie, I'm going to be at Stour Space Designers Market next Saturday 28th of May selling jewellery from my House of Turd line.

See examples of my exquisitely divine creations here and here! I hope you can come along, there will also be disc jockeys, munchy food and some live acts too, so after you have given me your cash in exchange for some treasures you will still be thoroughly entertained!

And who knows, if you mention that you are a reader of the blog, there may even be a cheeky little discount for you on any purchases made...sound fair?

Will look forward to seeing you...I'll be the one in the colourful clothes with dreadlocks by the way ;-)

7 Roach Road, E3 2PA London
Overground: Hackney Wick
Bus: 8, 26, 30, 388, 276

Sleeping with The Fashion Turd ...a sneeky peek into my bedroom

Have you ever wondered where The Fashion Turd might sleep, dream and make jiggy jiggy?!!!Ever pondered over whether she uses 1 pillow or 2? Well i thought you might, hence why i have decided that you, oh ever loyal readers, are worthy of a guided tour around the old sleeping quarters.

I know half of you probably assumed that i live in a crusty squat with 37 cats because i have dreadlocks and a nose ring (..come on, you know who you are, probably the same bunch that assumed that i was a veggie too right!?), but contrary to popular belief i actually have a room in a very respectable 2 bed, upper floor flat with original wood flooring, dishwasher and a breakfast bar...so there!

It's a pretty small space, there is hardly enough room to swing a cat in there let alone enough space for my HUGE EGO and all of the tat that i have accumulated over my 27.5 years on this planet. But it suits me just fine in terms of catching a few ZZZzzz's, general relaxage and being a place to home my ever growing collection of toys...(the trendy, vinyl, Japanese ones not the foot long purple kind that you buy in Anne Summers thanks.)
So this is it, welcome to 'The Turd Boudoir'...make yourself comfy but don't make a mess please....

The mighty snoozing apparatus! Complete with fairy lights, unnecessary cushions, My Little Pony collection, glitter skull, fuzzy rabbit and cheap floral adornments.

L-R: Max from 'Where The Wild Things Are' (my fave children's book), Heart from Brixton Market, Day of the Dead lady ornament,Valentines day card from the beautiful wife x x x , Her Majesty..hmmm

 

L-R: Monster collection..grrrrr , My homeboy J.C (heart religious icongraphy )

L-R: Eye patch and hat from 'Kiss my Cherry', woolly lion, masks were a gift, mirror where i spend 98.7% of my day!

 

L-R: A shelf of random treasures including vintage E.T and Domo, my favourite shoes D.M's and jellies

L:R-Customized Disney cushion by me...mwahh ha ha, the ever growing Pez collection

 ...i feel ike i've just written a piece for 'Homes and Garden' or something....albeit a slightly less middle-aged /Hertfordshire/ twin set and pearls version!  So who likes? What is the best thing that you have in your room?

New Jewellery pieces added to my fantasmical orgasmical Etsy shop! Come look!

Hark fine fellows! I am uploading more new jewellery onto my Etsy store 'House of Turd'.                                                                                                  

     

I'm making all of the jewellery with my own magical hands, and not to blow my own trumpet too much,it's bloody gorgeous, i want to wear it all myself! Take a look below...

 
I'm up-cycling loads of materials as well as adding gorgeous, colourful, sparkling bits and bobs. Trust me, set your eyes to 'Wowzer'!

Here are a few things that are inspiring the pieces, seeing that i'm an atheist, pacifist there are some weird choices, but there we go!...Top row: Hindu iconography Bottom row: Rainbow Arabia, war medals, Louise Gray, Bjork (yes, Bjork..again!)

And as i said before, you, my saucy little readers can get a 10% off coupon valid until the end of June 2011 to use in my shop. All you have to do is 1) become a follower of the blog, 2)leave your email address as a comment below and i'll send you across a coupon. It's as simple as George Bush and as easy as Paris Hilton. ha ha !


P.s I'm gutted that some of your comments got deleted during the Blogger meltdown yesterday, apparently they will all be restored soon....let's hope so innit! Make sure you leave some more anyway, I bloody love hearing what you all have to say x

Outfit No #19

Head to toe charity shop (yes, normal people call them charity shops not vintage shops you Hoxton douche bag) / Bell bottom badness / jelly shoes / big lips for kissing the pretty Italian girl

                      

Jacket:Charity shop

Skirt:Charity shop

Flares:Charity shop

Beads: Charity shop

Bag: Charity shop

Head Scarf:H&M

Brooch:House of Turd (my own label)

Shoes: Peacocks

I have been super lucky with my second-hand finds in the last week...just look at these oh so groovy garments that i snapped up on a spring walk in a certain South London Borough! And to think other people have thrown this stuff away..fools! Don't you just love the smell of second hand clothes though? Somewhere between the scent of your Grandad's car, wet dog and morning breathe...i can't help but find it comforting somehow. 

Any of you guys found any delights in the charity shops recently? Tell me all about...

The Big Interview: The Fashion Turd picks the technicoloured brains of 'Quirky Explosion'

So here it is, my second super-sized interview with a fellow self-indulgent, narcissistic, personal style blogger! I think this bird's ability to put clothes together is really really brilliant (in the same way that Rebecca Black is really really rubbish and how Pol Pot was really really evil!)So here she is, in all of her pattern clashing, print mixing, colour fusing, seizure inducing glory...
Lexy from Quirky Explosion...

Who or what the hell is Quirky explosion? Is it you or some magical alter ego??

Haha, I've never actually thought about this. I've always wanted an alter ego. It makes me feel like I'm a super hero, or something. So yeah. We'll go with that. My super awesome, wackadoodle alter ego. QUIRKY EXPLOSION TO THE RESCUE. Baaaam!

Describe your style in a nutshell...

Colourful, eccentric, young, fun, awkward...

Who or what is your biggest inspiration in terms of style and the way you dress?

Life. Life's too short to NOT wear colours/patterns/shoulderpads/big hats/bright tights/etcetc.  
What's going through your head when putting an outfit together?

Who do I want to be today? What message do I want to send? What's the weather like? Where am I off to? An array of wonderful early morning inquisitions...

Your favourite film/book/band

Little Miss Sunshine or The Breakfast Club/ The Kite Runner/ ALWAYS CHANGING - I'm currently obsessed with Bombay Bicycle Club mmm.


Do you admire or wear any specific designers or brands? Who's clothes make you go mmmmmmmmmmmmm?

I know this is a totally cliche/ "oh hey I'm a hipster" thing to say.  Buuut, I hate brands! Blech. I really do. About 96.8% of the clothes I wear are from thrift/ second hand/ vintage stores. That sounds really pretentious. I just like the thrill of shopping with old people and buying people's trash for cheap.    

In terms of designers, there's approximately a billion I adore... but the one that always seems to percolate to the top is Alexander McQueen (RIP.) Truly epitomizes why fashion is ART. Genius.

Where do you buy most of your clothes?

VALUE VILLAGE IS MY HERO. Seriously, I will endorse that store until I die. Others would be, you know, Salvation Army, Goodwill, other thrift stores, et cetera.

Your favourite breakfast?

Yoghurt (preferably strawberry or blueberry!) + Raisin Bran + Chopped Bananas + Chocolate Chips = DELICIOUS. (Not blended together, blender style or anything. Simply mixed with a spoon.) I also love anything with Peanut Butter. But my sibling is allergic, so that is a rarity/ delicacy. 
How long have you been blogging and why do you blog?

I've blogging since, eek, July 2009? WOAH I'M ANCIENT. I enjoy it as a creative outlet. I think it gives me a sense of purpose. Like, "Oh hey, I spent 40 minutes getting dressed just to walk the dog for 2 minutes. BUT I CAN BLOG IT." Yup. My life is filled with utter excitement...

Your muse?

People. Lots of people. I really admire so many people. People that are genuine. People that are themselves. Yeaaah.

What do you do when youre not being a blog geek?

Chasing rainbows and unicorns. Obviously. 

 Any words to other bloggers... and any other blogs that you admire?

Not to throw a cliche in your face (but I totally am)... Be yourself! Awww. Cue the sappy soundtrack! But it's so true. Be authentic and unique in what you wear, write, say, etc. Cookie cutters are boring. ORIGINALITY ISN'T (boring, that is).
Blogs? SO MANY. I don't know - it's constantly changing. There's always a billion new ones on my blog list. Style Bubble, Fashion Pirates, Jess Loves Fred, etc etc.

Your favouritest person?

Myself. Jokes. I could never pick one!

Any other nuggets of info you wanna divulge?

Not particularly! I'm craving a tea party. Anyone want to join? 

So whatcha reckon?... she certainly knows how to rock the rainbow vomit eh? love it love it. Go visit her straight away and give her a high five and a low five:

http://quirkyexplosion.blogspot.com/

If you want to be considered for my next interview leave me your blog address below.... cheers kids, great response last time, still looking through the suggestions...

And if you want to get a 10% off coupon for my new jewellery line on Etsy then click here

Right, i shall love you and leave you now.....Hello new readers, you alreet? Tell me about yourselves

The Fashion Turd launches range of jewellery, 'House of Turd' - yes it's true!

Yes, i have finally done it! I have pulled my finger out of my little white bottom and decided to start my own line of louder-than-loud jewellery. So girls, boys, boi-girls and lady-boys, i am uber proud to present to you the first piece from my 'House of Turd' label.....drum roll pleeeease!!!:

                                

                                     

Each piece will be a one-off, handmade by my own stinky fingers, and include up-cycled materials where possible! Sound good? I will be selling my stuff through Etsy to begin with, with the hope to move onto my own site at a later date when the almighty 'Turd Empire' starts to grow a bit more! Mwah ha ha haaaaaa (cue evil hand wringing and eyebrow raising) 

NEW PRODUCTS TO BE ADDED VERY SOON SO KEEP POPPING BACK FOR A LOOKEY 

Add my shop address to your bookmarks NOW! 

http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheFashionTurd?ref=pr_shop

Also as a special gift to my super loyal readers i will be offering a coupon code entitling you to 10% off stuff in my store to use any time until the end of June 2011. 

If you are already a follower of this fantastical blog then leave your email address as a comment below and i'll have a code sent to you pronto. 
If you don't already follow, then do so now please (yes i realize this is bribery but i want to come visit you all too), and then once you have done that add your email address below too to receive your code! Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy eh?

Thanks for all of your support and wish me tons and tons of luck in my new venture..spread the word to everyone you have ever met! The Turd x 

Outfit # 18 - The Fashion Turd's leaving work party a.k.a prosecco and cocktails are evil!

 In approximately 9 days i will be an unemployed bum and will be making my way down to a certain South London Job Centre to sign on and get my free money. To celebrate, my fellow work comrades and I had a small legal gathering involving an outside space, prosecco, humous, face paints and a rescued poisoned mouse (vegan friends can be very persuasive). This is what I wore: 

  

Tee: H&M

Trousers: H&M

Shoes: Ju Ju Jellies

Earring: Christmas Decoration

Bindi: Gift from India

Bag: Primani

And here are some pics from the day in question, look how alternative and creative and bohemian we are with our face-paint and colourful hair and bowler hats (smell irony? possibly):

It was a a right ol' knees up and i got some bad-ass gifts including: an old Pierre Cardin cardie from Anja, Bindis from Sophia, a superhero mask from Vi, peacock leggins from Mary, bubbles from Jeronimas, cake from Andi, and a Calvin and Hobbs tee from Mazz. 

Thank you, Thank you in abundance to all who came, i kiss you on both cheeks and give you a small lick on the ear too. 

P.S Any ideas as what i should do to earn money now? (prostitution not an option, i don't like semen)

I have no idea what I want to embark on as my career and any suggestions are most welcome please! Regards, The Turd x