The Fashion Turd after The Royal Wedding day.....

"ARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Spent today in work - 8 hours on my feet watching the general public clad in Britannia Cowboy hats and 'patriotic' face paints waving commemorative Wills'n'Kate flags and stinking of cheap booze...i have officially been  drained of my soul! 

Let's hope The Fashion Turd get's some colour back in her cheeks (and clothes) pronto.

Photo by Duncan Johnson

Outfit #18 a.k.a Kate and Wills you make me want to gouge out my own eyes.

              

Shoes: Car boot sale (what a find!)

Earring: Christmas decoration

Dress: Primark

Jacket: H & M

Bow: £Pound Shop

Leg Warmers: H & M

Hi all, hope you are having a more than adequate week? Who's looking forward to the Royal shambles robbery waste-of-time Wedding on Friday?...Nobody?..didn't think so. 

So in honour of the ridiculously pointless,archaic, money pilfering, irrelevant, mouldy twat of an event I shall be posting something extra special on Friday. So come back and visit the Fashion Turd. I'm guaranteed to upstage whatever Kate Middleton is wearing! In the meantime..a little treat (thanks for the link fred x)

Ciao x

A portrait of The Fashion Turd by Bridget Batch (...plus i updated my blogroll!)

A couple of weeks ago whilst taking a civilized stroll on London's south bank with the Mrs I got approached by a fine young lady with a Transatlantic twang carrying a camera with a rather impressive lens. I was proper chuffed when she asked to take my picture,for a second i felt like a C-list celebrity being chased by the paparazzi; now I know how it must have felt to be Princess Diana (minus cheating husband, emotionally retarded mother-in-law and Elton John.) 

Here is one of the pictures she took; I think i look like Pat Butcher meets SpongeBob SquarePants but i think it captures my mood pretty well! You can see some more pics and read the ever so flattering blog post she wrote about me here. More of Bridget's photography can also be found here. 


So go have a look, it's an order!


P.S i have been trying to update my blog roll to show some sloppy love to all of my favourite fellow blog geeks/geekettes, so take a look to your right >>>>> and then come and give me a massive THANKS! hee hee

The Fashion Turd goes guest blogging...but fear not she's coming back!

Just a dirty quickie of a post today, but i've just done a teeny weeny guest post for blog Dear Tuesday where different bloggers write a diary style entry about what they did on a specific Tuesday. Thanks to the guys at Dear Tuesday for letting me vomit all over their otherwise civilized blog!


Below is a little taster, but read the full article (well, a few lines of text and lots of self indulgent photographs including my 'Vogue' pose) here. As you can tell, it was a polka dot kinda day.

P.S Hello new followers, enjoy your stay, you're gonna have a wild time i'm sure. 


P.P.S Thanks for the growing number of comments. I have just quit my job so keep the words of love coming to stop me feeling like a worthless unemployed bum!


P.P.S Have a banging Easter folks and Happy Birthday Jesus. oh no that's Christmas innit?....

Outfit #17 - The cartoon heroes special.

        

     

       Dress: H&M

         Tights: American Apparel

          Shoes: JuJu Jellies

      Jacket: Motel

      Earrings: Kitsch Bitch

      Lightning: from my mate Harry Potter

My wife says i have a triangle smile like a manga chick. And people often say that i look like a cartoon character. Does this mean that i'm 2 dimensional??...hmmmm. Anyway as long as they are not referring to Disney's The Little Mermaid then i don't mind (I can't stand that little bitch). I guess my clothes do make me look a little cartoony, and come to think of it  i do indulge in a bit of kangaroo fucking in post-apocalyptic Australia in my spare time!

So here is an outfit that is inspired by all of my favourite illustrated heroes. Hope you like? Who's your favourite inked character? Let me know any i may have missed.

P.S Those who like Jessica Rabbit need not comment. She's not sexy, she's a cartoon character. And she's a whore.

 

From L-R Clockwise: Tank Girl by Jamie Hewlett and Alan Martin, Hayao Miyazaki's Princess Mononoke, Megan from Local by Brian Wood, Black and White from Taiyo Matsumoto's Tekonkinkreet, Cleo and Trilby from Ross Campbell's Wet Moon, Enid and Rebecca from Daniel Clowe's Ghost World.

Bye!....... x x x x

The Fashion Turd loses her pop up shop virginity at The Crafty Fox Pop Up Market

There seem to be a hell of a lot of these "Pop Up Shops", well, 'popping up' around London town at the moment. I always think they sound a bit pretentious and are going to be hosted by some vile St Martens graduates called Tarquin and Hermione wearing overly ironic glasses. I usually stay well clear.

But on a rare Saturday afternoon off work i managed to pop down to the lovely Crafty Fox pop up market in The Dogstar pub in Brixton this weekend and was a very pleasantly surprised Fashion Turd! There were over 40 stalls selling oodles and noodles of cool handmade crafty stuff like felt moustaches, fabric monsters, badges, prints, bags as well as neon coloured cupcakes, portraits by 5 year old budding artist Jamie FJ (enough to make even the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang child catcher melt) and a fully stocked bar of alcoholic beverages. I enjoyed. Muchly.


Look at these ghoulish vinyl stickers that i picked up from the lovely ladies at Printed Wonders, aren't they spook-tastic? 
(Click on them to see what happens, maybe i have linked to your blog..just maybe )


And click on the pictures below to see who else was there shaking their bad stuff at the market:                                                                               

   

So, yeah, that's about it...I'm not sure when they are going to be "popping up" next (pun) but keep your eyes peeled. Can anyone recommend any other good pop up shops that i could go have a peek at?

P.S thanks to everyone for sending in their links to be a potential interviewee, keep them coming please, i havn't decided yet!  


P.P.S Hello new followers who are sprouting up everywhere! So glad you have become part of the exclusive members club that is The Fashion Turd! Hope you are enjoying yourself. Tell your friends, your mum and your gran too..she's going to love me!  

Oi you, trendy face! The Fashion Turd is looking for potential interviewees. Are you an uber cool hipster type from hell? Are you more stylish than Barbara Windsor? If so, I want yo detail innit.

Following the success of my interview with pint-sized blogger  Self Constucted Freak i am opening up (..ahem) to suggestions from you, my faithful readers, as to who i should interview next. Apparently you get a warm and fuzzy feelings for doing nice things for others?


If you have a personal style blog and you think you are dope enough to be on my page then leave your link as a comment below and i'll come check you out. Alternatively if you are not so much of a vain bastard and are just a brown-nosing do-gooder you may just want to nominate a style blogger that you like. 


Remember, i ain't too hot on people head to toe in neutrals and/or 'vintage' and/or anal coordination, or anyone who looks like their middle name is 'Hoxton Square'...Yawn McYawn!
Ingenuity, boldness, fun, whimsy, trashyness, colour, pattern and things that goths would dislike are most welcome though!


Anyways...I shall look forward to hearing from you. If you catch my eye then you shall be hearing from me at some point via the medium of electronic mail.


Leave your links below...


p.s I'm nearly at the 100 follower mark! booya! Not bad for 4 months work! thanks to you all for reading and whoever is FOLLOWER # 100 will get some serious interweb love

Jedward JOG ON! Look at my new hair! Quiffalicious?!

Who likes my new quiff? As much as i love my dear dreadlocks, there are only so many possibilities they can offer when it comes to innovative hairstyles! So i have been growing a fringe out for a while now and it is finally long enough to backcomb/hairspray/backcomb into the statuesque creation that lies before you.

I bet you want to touch it just to see how crispy and hair-spray-heavy it feels eh eh?? Now I know just how immense it would have been to be called Elvis.

The lovely skull hair clip was a gift from the wife-thanks! The bindis were a gift from my buddies Holly and Poppy from India-thanks! and the blue Barry-M mascara was a gift to myself from myself-thanks!

Whatcha reckon? Should i stick with the quiff or do i just look like a bit of a an X-Factor wannabe? Your thoughts please!

P.S You can now get The Fashion Turd straight to your email inbox by signing up to my email feed..imagine that!

(look to the right hand side bar>>>>>>>>>>>)

You can also follow me on Twitter - @thefashionturd

Love and Licks

The Turd x 

Outfit #16

 'Rad' / White-middle-class-rapper / mother of the bride / leg of lamb shoulders / European ski holiday circa 1986

                          

Tee: Lazy Oaf

Jacket: H&M

Hat: gift from oldest 'brother reverse'

Shorts: Primark

Leggings: H&M

Trainers: Converse with new laces

Leg warmers: H&M

Oh, and here are a few little turd nuggets of things that i have been looking at on the interweb this week that have made me say 'mmmm....super, yes please, i'll put that in my pipe and smoke it' :

                  

L-R: Kreayshawn,

   Jeremy Scott for Swatch,

Louise Gray Spring Summer 2011

What have you people been ogling over recently?
P.S Come back soon cos The Fashion Turd has a 'like, totallly RAD' new hair-do to show you next post - think Something about Mary  mixed with dreadlocks .... intrigued?..i betcha are!

Outfit # 15 - help me find this lipstick shade! (fuck i'm such a femme)

ugly cheerleader / geek glasses/ faking short-sightedness / slimey mouth / hobbit's top hat / shirt 'n' tie

Hat: H&M

Skirt: Primark

Shirt: H&M

Jacket: Motel

Glasses: Deconstructed 3D cinema specs!

Knickerbockers: Thrifted

Tights: American Apparel

Tie: Hand customized

Shoes: Dr Martens

Help! I want a lipstick that will make my mouth the colour of the top photo...kind of a sticky Ghostbuster's slime green! Any suggestions?... i can't find one!

I go all Kate Moss and get my modelling trout pout on

I used to model when i was a younger teenage turd, but when i got all pierced and dreadlocked and developed a beer gut the work stopped coming in oddly enough! But a few weeks ago i put on my pro camera face on again and did a bit of modelling for the new Kiss My Cherry website. 

                       

I got to wear lovely little burlesque hats and frilly knickers which made me feel like a right filthy whore but then i had to don very high heels which made me walk like a Thunderbird!

Any thoughts? Do i get a thumbs up? Should Naomi Campbell be quaking in her Manolo's?

For those of you who have been following the Turd you will recognize some of the company's accessories from older posts - Here and Here.

Go have a look at the website which is being revamped with my huge face all over it very soon! My mate Gabi did the sexy-hot-smoking make-up, didn't she do a good job in turning me into a proper girl!?

Happy Saturday peeps...the Turd is having a dinner party tonight...how very, very grown up.

Laters x x x